You're Not Alone

Your heart starts to pound, your breathing goes short, your head goes fuzzy and you feel like you're going to die right then and there. At least that's how I felt during my first panic attack. It was a normal day at work. I was at my desk, and BAM! I didn't know what was happening to me, and me being the hypochondriac that I am, thought something was seriously wrong. Over the next few months, symptoms progressed and got worse. What felt like a heart attack, morphed into a splitting migraine and pressure in my head. Later it progressed into intense, piercing chest pain and other symptoms (all these symptoms as well as the chest fluttering and panic attacks. You can imagine the horror). Now, those of you who suffer from anxiety will understand where I'm coming from, but those of you who don't know what it is, or don't have it will probably think I'm crazy. That's ok. I seriously thought I was going crazy myself. You have to remember that this is something that we can't control; at all.  People with anxiety have a wacky "Fight or Flight" response within the brain (the Amygdala which is the center of emotion and "fight or flight"). This response kicks in when there is no danger present, but somehow our brains thinks there is, and goes on overdrive, with panic attacks and other symptoms lasting anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes. This leaves us feeling vulnerable, scared, and most of all frusterated. I find it really hard to tell people about my anxiety because I am afraid they won't treat me the same, and view me as weird. Does all of this sound like something I want to feel everyday? If I could turn it off I would in a heartbeat. It's a mental disease that I struggle with daily. There were times when all I wanted to do was stay in bed because getting up meant facing, and feeling my problem, and I just didn't have the energy anymore. I fell away from The Lord, and even though I still went to church, I didn't feel like I was getting anything out of it. I'd asked countless times for Jesus to heal me, and nothing happened. I was beginning to doubt The Lord and his love for me. One Sunday at church, I heard The Lord's voice during our worship and reflection time. He told me that he was using my anxiety to help others, and to help understand what they were going through. Since then, it's still very hard, and I still get scared and frusterated when I have a flare up of anxiety, but I know that God is using this for so much more, and that when He is ready to heal me, He will. Have faith that you are not alone in this, and that The Lord will lift you up, and use this illness for something greater than you can't even imagine. Blessings,

Sara 

Verse of the day:

 Philippians 4:6-7

"6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."